A way of breaking through your heart's hard exterior

By Miss Kade

Lately, I've been reading City of God by St. Augustine. The first little chunk is tough to get through. I love St. Auggy like a brother, but sometimes he rambles on about history and such. Its well worth it once you get into the meat of it though. Confessions is by far the most human thing I've ever read so far. Its what made me fall in love with him. I'm hoping City of God will turn out to be the same.

I've finished my The Way of St. Josemaria Escriva too. I'm actually circling it right back over because it was so good! He's so blunt. He'll speak those words in your ear you are so desperately needing to hear but don't really want to. My favorite quote of him so far:

"Paradoxes of a little soul. When Jesus sends you what the world calls good luck, feel sorrow in your heart at the thought of his goodness and of your wickedness. When Jesus sends you what people consider bad luck, rejoice in your heart, for he always gives you what is best. This is the beautiful moment to love the cross."

He has such a way of breaking through your heart's hard exterior. Before I became Catholic, anytime I fell, I just wanted to hide away from him. Like I needed to act out a certain period of "shame time" before it was "okay" to come back and speak with him. But should that ever be my response? NEVER! God is never partial. He is complete and full and perfect. He is always there, even when we'd rather Him not see what we're doing. The only way things get better is when we acknowledge that and seek Him out as whom He truly is.

And not only is He there all the time, but so are the saints. I often sit and wonder how I ever got along without them... How wrong I was to cast them off before. I am so grateful for every word ever muttered from their mouths that has been recorded. Words like St. Josemaria's have spoken volumes to me and prodded me to think about how I'm living my life. They make me want to put more of an effort forth. It gives me so much comfort to think about all the Christians who have come before us, many of who faced grave trials we'll never get even the slightest glimpse of (facing beheadings, quarterings, and much, much worse), who conquered this life by the power of Christ and are now up there rooting for all of us. What love Christ has for His church that He gives us gifts like these. We are all connected through one body, and that's His. How I am so thrilled to be aware of that now.

Whew, so yeah, I'm enjoying my readings lately. ;0)