Relationship with non-members is one of respect

By Pat Delaney, answering allegations by someone against Opus Dei

The relationship between the members themselves and, between members and non-members is one of respect, and always cognizant of the personal freedom that is necessary and central to a person's ability for developing their spiritual life.

Opus Dei, if you request it, will provide a spiritual director. This is a well established practice in Catholicism. A spiritual director's job is to know the person and give advice in life situations so that a person can make their own choices informed about how their actions conform or not with Catholic Doctrine.

I totally disagree about confessors and the seal of the confessional. I confess to many priests in and out of the Work. Some of those in the Work are old friends. I also have a spiritual director that I keep in touch with on my own schedule. I have not recently contributed money to the Work, but I plan to resume that and other such activities on a very regular basis as this type of regular practice was interrupted due to my own life circumstances.

I have known the Work for many years. In fact, I have previously been a member, and did in fact "whistle." I was an active member for five years before I decided it was not quite right for me about 8-9 years ago. Nevertheless, the people in the Work are still very much a part of my life in some ways. I have NEVER encountered any of the conspiratorial nonsense that you allege. The types of things you allege cannot be proven otherwise as you allege they are done secretly.

What I have seen within the work are many highly gifted people who live saintly lives, and less gifted ones who are willing to struggle with themselves. As with any human organization, there is an occasional idiot or two hanging around that everyone tries to be patient with in the hope that they will grow.

I have also seen much of is something else. I have seen people who, when they see the the opportunity for much sacrifice in their life, the sacrifices that will really need to be done to reform their spiritual life, will recoil in disgust after making an initial attempt. This often happens in the spiritual development of any person and is referred to as the "the dark night." Saint John Chrysostom and Saint Theresa of Avila refer to these periods as occurring twice along the path to great spiritual perfection. This path is well know and is defined by three phases: Purgative, Illuminative and Unitive and are separated by these dark periods. This is all explained quite will in "Spiritual Passages" by Father Benedict Groeschel (not in Opus Dei).

Many people when they reach these dark phases, or encounter some other great temptation, give in to the temptation to just stop trying. These people sometime find their way back to spiritual development, sometimes not. Unfortunately, rather than realize this failure is the result of their own weakness, these people will try and blame their own personal decision on factors controlled by others.

I see this often among ex-members who wish to justify there own personal decision to leave the Work. They associate the demands of growing in the spiritual life, with the rigors associated with living the "Norms" and other activities that EVERY person, in and out of the Work will eventually need to undertake if they are to develop themselves and grow to be a person of great virtue, i.e., a saint.