Spiritual Steroids

By Kallyne Pudner in The Philosopher-Mom. Kallyne is "your typical Philosophy Ph.D with nine kids".


I'm BAAACK! I love my life! I love my husband, and my kids, and the mess I found when I walked through the door, because it represents OPPORTUNITY for me to love them and love God! Woo-hoo!

I hear someone thinking: "It's an imposter, a Stepford-Philosopher-Mom. Remove this blog from the reader; it's gonna be a goody-goody yawner from now on."

I hear someone else thinking: "She's on drugs."

And the latter someone is right, in a manner of speaking. I'm on spiritual steroids, which is what a retreat will do for you. There's nothing illegal, nothing that's gonna get Major League Baseball after you, about spiritual steroids; I can't recommend the injection highly enough.

To answer the questions about where I went and what it was all about: I went to Hoschton, Georgia, a place you will only have heard of if you're in the habit of driving on I-85 between Atlanta and the South Carolina line (so, like, if you're a NASCAR fan, maybe). The retreat I made was directed by Opus Dei; a team of albino monks was helicoptered in to train us in assassination methods.

JUST KIDDING!! (I know a lot of people like it, and God knows it's gotten more attention from the publishing industry than LOADING...PLEASE WAIT, but I think Dan Brown's Big Book is just silly.)

Seriously, Opus Dei is about getting closer to God doing whatever you normally do. How sweet is that? I sweep the salt off the kitchen floor, I get closer to God. I grade 130 papers in five days, I get closer to God. I walk up and down four flights of stairs four times a day twice a week, I get closer to God. I blog, I get closer to God.

I put eight sheets on eight beds, then find four of them in the pasture, having been made into cat-parachutes...and I get closer to God! As opposed to getting closer to court-ordered rehab!