If
she were here right now, she would ask us to do 2 things. The first that we Rejoice, just like she
rejoiced when our father, Ramon, left us in 2000. Those of you who were at our father’s funeral
mass will never forget how joyous she was because the love of her life was now
in the presence of Our Lord – the source of Peace, Love and Everlasting
Happiness – and how she longed to be in Heaven with him one day. That day has come, so yes Mommy, we will
rejoice with you as we too look forward to being with you, Pappy, our brothers
Ramon and Louie in Heaven.
The
second thing she will ask us is that we keep this Eulogy short – 7 minutes to
be exact – she believed that after 7 minutes people start to lose
interest. Only she could get away with
asking priests she knew to keep their homilies to no more than 7 minutes…so,
yes Mommy, we will try and keep this to about 7 minutes even if there is so
much we would like to say about you. I
could pass the mic around and I am sure you all have a special story to share.
There
is no doubt in Mommy’s mind and heart what her vocation and purpose in life was:
to be the best wife and mother she could possibly be for the glory of God. She did just that every day with Joy and
Love, embracing life’s triumphs and tribulations as they came. She believed everything came to her life for
a reason. She trusted in Our Lord and
His Blessed Mother and leaned on them for everything. Her Faith was unshakable and her Hope was
grounded in that strong Faith.
She
credited her Faith to her grandmother, Abuelita Blanca Calero, who raised her
and her 3 siblings: Tony, Josemari and Conchita. She was born on the 28th September
1929 to Federico “Pipo” Calero and Mercedes Zurrunero, who passed away when she
was barely 1-year old. She talked about
going to daily Mass with her Abuelita and having a deep devotion to Our Lady,
especially in praying the Holy Rosary.
She credited many answered prayers to Our Lady of the Rosary, including
how during the Japanese occupation, her brothers were taken away on a truck
with other young men. Their grandmother immediately
called Mommy and her sister Conchita to kneel and pray the Rosary. A few hours later, as they were reciting the
Rosary, they see my uncles walking back home.
The truck they were in stalled because the bridge across was bombed, allowing
them to jump off, hide in the bushes and run home. Mommy had many stories about how Our Lady
protected them during the war. She was a
thin and sickly child then and her father worried that she will not make it
through the war. However, through the
gratitude of a gardener in their employ before the war, who happened to be a
Japanese General in disguise, they were able to get access to the food they
needed. He was grateful for the kindness
shown to him as he worked for them.
Mommy
was educated at St Joseph’s College by Dutch nuns. She had many fond memories of school and
enjoyed learning and being creative. She
had a flair for the dramatic and was chosen to perform in plays and
musicals. One time, she volunteered to
do a Chinese dance number, memorizing the lines of the Chinese song every day
for many weeks. Her Chinese classmate
tirelessly worked with her to make it as authentic as possible. Well, on the day of the performance she
blanked out on the words of the song.
That did not stop her though and she went on with the show, making up the
words to the song while she danced. She
received a standing ovation since nobody in the audience knew what she was
saying but the classmate was very angry and never spoke to her again.
Mommy
met Pappy when she was “sweet 16” as she would like to say. They fell in love and married when she was 19
on the feast of St Joseph, the 19th March 1949. They were a beautiful couple, very much in
love. At that time, Pappy thought of
having about 2 children…ha! Little did
he know that Mommy had made an “agreement” with Our Lady when she was 12-years
old. She asked the Blessed Mother to
grant her a good, loving and kind husband and in turn she will generously
accept as many children as Our Lords sends her…well, 17 pregnancies – 4
miscarriages which mommy would call our little angels in heaven. She made good on her promise: 13 children - Chitina,
Marite, Ramon, Federico, Fernando, Pachig, Mariita, Louie, Javier, Maricar,
Maitoni, Montse, Josemari (singing). She
liked to tell us that we were all made from Faith and Love. From Chitina, she has 11 great grandchildren
and 2 on the way.
Fr
Javier “ Fr Jay” de Pedro, who knew my parents since 1964, mentioned that in
1968, Marite called the Centre of Opus Dei asking for my dad to say that Mommy
left in a taxi alone to deliver. She was
gifted with having relatively “easy” pregnancies and she cried when the doctors
removed her uterus after Josemari, her 13th, was born and even asked
the doctor if she could have a womb transplant!
Our
parents joined Opus Dei in the early sixties.
In a trip to Rome to meet the founder, St. Josemaria Escriva, they were
told not to mention the problems they were having in the development of the
Makiling Conference Centre, which had no source of water. Upon seeing St. Josemaria, Mommy tells him “no
tenemos agua en Makiling”. St Josemaria said
I will pray for this and you will have water and so it came to be when Makiling
was completed in Barrio TULO, Calamba.
Our
parents complemented each other perfectly:
Pappy was organized and intellectual who loved to travel, learn other
cultures, listen to classical music and watch movies. Mommy was spontaneous, creative and street-smart,
she loved to sing and dance and did not like to travel or go to movies and
instead preferred to read the newspaper for her diverse clippings, her health
and cook books and attend to her many “projects” at home. They made it clear to us that we were first
in mind when making choices in life. We
had the most wonderful meals at home, bonding on stories and experiences long
after the meal was done. These were
precious moment to us and we are so grateful to Pappy and Mommy for doing this
for us when we were growing up.
Her
projects! She always had some project
going on, mostly around health and getting the best bang for your buck. She had to stretch her budget and she did so
in the most entertaining and fun way.
One of her first projects was vermiculture raised in trays of soil in the
basement as it was a cheap source of protein that she would sell as we refused
to eat it! Those earthworms multiplied
quickly and there were more and more trays of soil. This went on for many months until our father
had a nightmare that the worms overtook the whole house and asked our mother to
either sell of get rid of the worms. There
was also the time when she read that putting some sort of mineral powder on the
navel of tomatoes will keep them fresh for weeks. However, instead of trying it out on a few
tomatoes, we had every shelf in the kitchen lined up with tomatoes, which did rot
in a few days. Or that time when she
read that crushing garlic and fermenting it for 1 year will give you a natural
antibiotic. She had all the helpers, her
trusty side-kick, Mary “Tory” Pastori and friends, peeling and pounding garlic
until their hands burned. They kept the
crushed garlic in a large clay vat in the garage for 1 year and when it was
opened, a certain species of worm that we have never seen before emerged.
Not
all her “projects” flopped though. In
fact, she was ahead of her time in alternative medicine and natural
healing. She took a long-distance course
in Reflexology in the late 70s teaching whoever she could, especially those
that she knew could not afford medicine and provided them with a skill for
livelihood. She showed them how they
could cure their ailments by pressing pressure points or prevent sickness with
good nutrition and supplements. It was
sometimes embarrassing seeing her explain to the pregnant cashiers at Unimart
how they should hold on to a comb while giving birth “but watch out, it might
come out like a bullet so let go of the combs as soon as the baby is starting
to come out”. They listened to her and
were very grateful for her tips – she sounded very convincing! Her friends would call her and she would
prescribe vitamins, minerals or some other alternative means to heal themselves
and their families. She seemed to have
success as they kept on calling her back, much to our father’s worry that she
prescribe the wrong thing and do more harm than good.
Another
discovery was the Kalan stove that she brought with us to a camping trip to 100
Islands. It saved the day as it used
bunched up newspapers for fuel and cooked a feast for us every day. She hosted sewing circles, did Paper Mache,
Macrame, pottery, beads, tie-dye – name the craft, she did it – and enjoyed it
very much although she did not stay in it too long and always moved on to try
something new.
Mommy
loved to joke around and play silly pranks on us and her 28 grandchildren. Even in her last years and thru her illness
her humour was never dampened. Her
grandchildren would be sitting around with her and she would start to breathe
deeply, when they asked her what was wrong she would mischievously say, “I am
just practicing for when I become a multo”.
At night, she would sneak up on the house staff as they were relaxing in
the kitchen and make ghost sounds to scare them.
She
loved to give us tips. One of her
favourite tips was to rely on our Guardian Angels. She would call on her Guardian Angel to help
her find her keys, eyeglasses or keep an eye on us as we went out at
night. We now all call on our Guardian
Angels just like Mommy taught us. Our
eldest sister, Chitina, entrusted the kids during recess in the school she
taught in Madrid to their Guardian Angels.
It worked as she was the only teacher that did not have to run to the
emergency room in all her years of teaching.
She was also blessed with many guardian angels throughout her life and
we are very grateful for them; Claring, Frankie, Sepa, Isabel, Estrella, Aling
Maria, Manang Beth and our dear Rose.
She
loved to have people come over and entertain at home. She charmed our father’s clients and business
associates with her stories, light humour and good food. The house was always open and welcoming. She reached out and helped everybody and
everyone, especially those that needed it the most. They truly had a special place in her
heart. 249 Don Miguel was like Grand
Central Station, people coming in and out at all times of the day. She became a “second mom” to many of our
friends and a confidant to many of her friends.
How
she loved to talk about Our Lord and the Blessed Mother, her relationship with
them was very real. When we asked her
what her intentions were when she prayed the Rosary, she said 3 things: “first, I pray for peace; second, that no one
will be hungry and third, that no one will have serious illnesses. She planted that seed of love for Our Lord
and Blessed Mother in all of us and prayed to the Holy Spirit to guide as
along. She never pushed us but gently
reminded us that we were made to be with God.
“In God’s time” or “God knows” she would wisely remind us if we got
impatient or anxious when prayers were not answered. She showed us that we are all Children of God
and because of that, everyone we meet should be treated with the love and
respect Our Lord would have shown them as they were all precious to Him. And all this always with much Joy and
Generosity.
As
Alzheimer’s gradually took over her mind and body, she never lost that Joy,
Generosity and Love for God. She was an
easy patient to have and endearing as she remembered once in a while certain
things. Like the time our sister Montse,
shocked her by reminding her she had 13 children – “que barbridad!” she
exclaimed. Then she asked who she
married and when Montse gave her a hint “RC”, she blushed like that sweet
sixteen girl who fell in love and sweetly said his name “Ramon Cuervo” and
smiled. Even to her last conscious
moments, she was kind and loving. When
the newly-ordained priest from the parish came to pray with her and bless her a
few hours before passing away, she looked at him and said “Good afternoon
Father, thank you!” Those were her last
spoken words.
Ok,
it is now more than 7 minutes…we would like to end this Eulogy with a video of
Mommy a few months ago singing one of the many hymns she sang and which we sang
to her in her last moments as she gently swayed to the tune.
On
behalf of the family, her sister Tita Conchita, my brothers and sisters, we
thank you for all being here and praying for Mommy. May we all be inspired by her life, her joy,
generosity and love.
A eulogy for Montse Cuervo by Javier Cuervo delivered on April 7, 2018
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The dictionary
definition of the word grandmother is “the mother of your father or mother”. I
disagree, a grandmother is so much more. She is your team mate when you argue
with your parents. She is the person that gives you little treats like candy,
or even better she would let you lick off the icing from the mixer and call it
a lollipop. She is someone you share your Halloween candy with, but you
especially separate all the marshmallows for her cause you know that it’s her
favourite and you secretly don’t like marshmallows anyway. She is someone that
lets you use her dining room table as a tent while her circle mates are eating
merienda cause it’s air con and that was not the norm in the house.
I could go on and on on
what the definition of a grandmother is, but I won’t cause we would be here all
day. But one thing is for sure, abuelita
Montse took the word grandmother and changed it to, and in all capitals, GRAND
mother. She really took the role of grandmother to heart and she took that word
grand and wrote it in all capitals by her acts like her corny and sometimes
inappropriate jokes, her singing, and more and throughout her lifetime was our
GRAND mother.
And I , just like the 27
other people that had the privilege to call themselves Montse Cuervo’s
grandchildren, am eternally grateful to have spent so many years of my life
with her, making and sharing memories with her and learning from her. She has
truly set the bar for being possibly the best grandmother anyone can ever ask
for.
Eulogy by granddaughter Marina for Montse Cuervo
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Other eulogies on this blog:
From Bombi to Ambi for Ray Santiago by Dr. Paul Dumol
Obayism for Obay Rojales by Dr. Raul Nidoy.
